Discussions Of The DVD Kind
by tartanbanana
Summary: What do DVD's and Bambi have to do with the Final Battle...


DISCLAIMER: If I owned Harry Potter I would most definately not be eating Tesco Value cookies

Yet another parody of the Final Battle, enjoy :)

Please read and review, feedback would be much appreciated

I have re-posted this as I wasn't happy with the first one

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The great hall was packed with people. They all fired curses at each other, as if hoping to turn their opponent into dust. Harry only thought of one thing - it was perhaps the most serious thought he'd had and one which he shared with everyone - he didn't want to be the person to clean up this mess. However Harry was a little bit preoccupied in fighting Lord Voldemort. Yes the time had come for the final battle, although some people speculated whether this would really be the final battle. Although, seventh times the charm, at least that's what Hagrid had told Harry earlier. The battle was wearing Harry down and Voldemort seemed as strong as ever. Harry tried to shoot another stunning spell, however being clumsy he tripped over his own shoelace and fell on his arse. He knew hanging out with the Cullen's after he'd tried to recruit them was a bad idea, Bella's clumsy-ness had been spread to him. Voldemort laughed, wand raised and Harry knew his goose was cooked "Harry, I have been waiting a long time to say this. I am your fathe-"

"NOOOOOO" Harry yelled "Don't ever say that!" Voldemort looked pissed

"Will you let me finish?" he said

"Oh, yeah uh… Sorry" said Harry, looking ashamed at ruining such a moment for poor Tom

"Harry, I am your father's murderer and now you will die and join him-"

"Just two things before you finish your sentence and kill me, one after all the years you've plotted to kill me, is that all you can come up with? Second, phew! For a minute there I thought you were going to say you were my father"

"Why would I say that? I mean what kind of weirdo would make the evil guy, the guy who represents the epitome of good's father?"

"I think there might have been one film…. Nope gone, have you seen the German film Das Boot?"

"No, actually, all Draco had in his DVD collection was Bambi, Snow White and Shrek 1 and 2 which I've had to injure at the Death Eater's movie night"

"I felt sorry for Bambi he was my favourite character and I could kinda relate what with the orphan thing"

"Thumper was my favourite although Bambi was my close second"

"Have you seen Shrek Three, Bambi pales in comparison"

"No I have not but it had good reviews and I must admit you have intrigued me, how can any other film be better than Bambi!"

"Hah believe me it is better, I've seen Shrek Three four times! Beat that"

"If you tell me the ending I will crucio you into next week!"

"Anyway, moving swiftly onwards away from any meantion of torture Das Boot is good" said Harry, Voldemort looked relieved that Shrek Three wasn't ruined "Wait, aren't we supposed to be fighting?"

"Oh… Yeah, guess the movie marathon is off then?"

"Yup"

"Aw, I was looking forward to comparing DVD collections"

"Well what with being the Chosen One I kinda have to kill you or Hermione will never give me back my DVD player... oh and you would bring a reign of terror and destruction"

"That sucks man"

"Yeah I know, Avadera Kedavra"

"*Cries*" then Voldemort dropped down dead. Everyone looked around and the hall erupted into cheers,

"It's finally over" Harry dimly heard Ron shout, he and Hermione rushed towards Harry but Harry wouldn't stay and chat. After grabbing his beloved DVD player out of Hermione's hands he ran to the exit.

"Harry, where are you going?" Hermione screamed over the joyous yells, in disbelief.

"I need to find Draco" said Harry, he then left the Great Hall

"Oh, ok" said Ron "Hey everybody, Movie Marathon at my house" The people in the great hall all filed out of the castle to go to the Burrow. There they would watch back to back films to celebrate the happy day, such as Das Boot, Watchmen, Gangs of New York (as you can see, all the films are _extraordinarily_ cheerful.)

While this took place, Harry roamed the whole of Hogwarts to ask Draco a question he'd wanted to ask since his chat with Voldemort, however it was only now that the repercussions of his action would be acceptable, if Draco felt the same way. Draco sat by the lake, staring at the Giant Squid in the water,

"Draco" Harry said, edging closer

"Yeah" said Draco, looking at Harry, he stood up to face him

"There's something I've been meaning to ask you for a long time" the sun was setting over the horizon, which created a brilliant glow of oranges, pinks, reds, baby blues and magentas. The two boys stayed in the moment, they savoured it as they had waited so long for this to happen,

"Draco" Harry said again, softly, they were so close "Can I borrow your Bambi DVD so we can watch it for the fourth time?"

"Of course" Draco happily replied

And so all was well with wizard kind, Ron's movie marathon was a success so another one was scheduled for next year and Draco and Harry cried over Bambi and resolved to write a sequel. Sadly it was ultimately rejected by Hollywood.


End file.
